Step away from the physics book!

"Help, Romeo is sweetly whispering facts about kinetic energy in my ear!"

Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou seducing us with physics?

New Guys in Town

"Glitter Penis and Furspolder, unite!"

Do we even really need to suggest any innuendos here?

It SPARKLES. The HORROR

"Glitter penis"

Yeah, we'll just let you think about that one, Twi-hards. And then we DARE you not to burst out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness.

Franken-lover

-"He reads Paradise Lost."
-"So, you would have sex with a dead person?"
-"He's not dead; he's reaminated--it's the five minute rule."

Because even Frankenstein needs a little lovin' every now and then... no matter how creepy and necrophiliac-esque that lovin' may be. >.>................<.<

And He'll Even Make the Bed

"Hi, I'm the ever-sexy Stephen, and I'll be sleeping on your floor. No, don't worry; I won't rape you in your sleep."

If only they were all as up-front as this...

It's Often So Hard To Tell

"Is that a pasta or a fascist?"

We'd like to think that ravioli's cousin rigatoni has a mustache to rival Mussolini's back in the day:

MIT Boys

"...with their hairy engineer legs."

Add this to any saying, and that saying will automatically be true. It's like "in bed," only more ridiculous.

When Louis Vutton Becomes a Stalker

"NO!!! I can't escape the man-rose-purse!"

It was following her, apparently. Like Edward Cullen. Only creepier. Because it was a purse. For men.

Apocalyptic Overtones

"Stupid plumes."

If it weren't for those plumes... man, we'd be dinosaur fodder by now!

Christmas in Crazyland

"You can't handle a large Christmas ornament!"

Shouted in the Prudential Center as an attempt to convince another of how bad an idea it was to go climbing up the side of the larger-than-life ornaments.