I'm So Glad We Didn't Drink This Weekend

Note: these are all unrelated

C: Is a pen a metaphorical penis?
K: If so, what is a highlighter?
C: A metaphorical dildo.

C: IF YOU DON'T STOP ACTING PERFECT I WILL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR PERFECT FACE!

K: He's a sulking, royal angsting prat.

K: O...Lancelot? I want one in every color!!!